R>O.BIaydesM.D 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA 

AT   LOS  ANGELES 


ROBERT  ERNEST  COWAN 


3**ia«r.«* 


sJLfS 


R.    O.    BLAYDBS,    M.  D., 


TRIUMFO,  MEXICO. 


SAN    FRANCISCO  : 

PRINTED  FOR  THE  PUBLISHER. 
1899. 


COPYRIGHTED    1899, 

BY 
R.   O.    BLAYDES,    M.   D. 


R.     O. 


BLAYOES,     M.     D., 

TRIUMFO,     MEXICO. 


X  the  beginning  of  a  vanished  century  in  the 
long  ago,  when  old  Father  Time  was  an 
infant  dressed  in  slumber  robes,  too  young 
to  record  when  it  was,  omnipotent  and  im- 
mortal Jove  in  his  palace  of  spangled  stars  convened  the 
Senate  c*  the  Skies,  and  to  the  gods  and  goddesses  he  said : 
"  Between  Heaven  and  Hades  there  is  a  little  world 
<-;illcd  the  Earth,  that  has  forever  been  held  in  the  dark, 
cold,  gloomy  embrace  of  chaos.  Aurora,  fair  daughter 
of  dawn,  sprinkle  with  your  rosy  light  the  sable  curtains 
of  night;  unloose  from  his  vaulted  prison  beyond  the 
cloudless  blue  the  golden  sunshine;  take  with  you  fair 
Ceres,  Flora  and  Hermes,  too.  Find  the  loveliest  place, 
and  prepare  for  me  and  my  guests  a  wonderful  garden 
of  beauty  and  bloom,  and,  when  finished,  send  Hermes 

3 


LADY  EVE, 

to  Hades  with  an  invitation  to  his  Satanic  Majesty  to 
visit  us  in  Eden,  if  he  has  time  and  inclination." 

They  obeyed  his  orders,  and  in  a  short  time  in  the 
sunny  south  a  magnificent  garden  was  made.  The  glo- 
rious sunshine  and  silvery  moonlight  took  the  place  of 
the  sable  curtains  of  Egyptian  gloom,  and  chaos  ceased 
to  exist.  In  this  garden  of  the  gods  bloomed  and  blos- 
so'med  many  fruits  and  countless  varieties  of  flowers  of 
various  colors  and  fragrance.  Oranges  gleamed  golden 
among  the  dark  green  leaves  of  the  trees.  Snowy  mag- 
nolias unfurled  their  creamy  petals  to  the  breeze;  scarlet 
and  white  japonicas,  climbing  creepers  with  their  crim- 
son blossoms,  pure  white  Easter  lilies,  with  the  tiger  red 
lilies  and  lilies  of  the  Xile,  were  found  in  the  same  bed 
with  the  beautiful  fleur-de-lis.  Golden  fields  of  flaming 
poppies,  all  red  and  gold,  mingled  their  brilliant  and  fiery 
bloom  with  the  magnificent  foliage  and  marvelous  bloom 
of  other  brilliant  flowers  of  rare,  strange  and  unknown 
names;  and,  as  these  beautiful  flowers  blended  them- 
selves into  Nature's  bouquet,  and  stretched  out  into  the 
distance,  far,  far  away,  it  seemed  the  gold  and  purple 
sky,  shading  into  a  cloudless  blue,  rested  on  these  pyra- 
mids of  exquisite  flowers. 

Among  these  fair  flowers  was  one  by  far  more  exquis- 


LADY  EVE. 

itely  beautiful — a  woman,  Lady  Eve!  From  a  snow 
white  camelia  Ceres,  Aurora  and  Hermes  fashioned 
her — a  dainty  piece  of  feminine  loveliness.  Her  form 
and  features  were  perfect.  She  had  glorious  dark  brown 
eyes,  shaded  by  long,  silken  eyelashes;  a  complexion 
very  fair  and  transparent,  with  pink  roses  blushing  be- 
neath a  wonderful  wealth  of  golden  hair,  which  fell  in 
shining  masses  of  burnished  gold  over  snowy  shoulders 
and  waved  in  dreamy  loveliness  to  her  tiny  feet.  She 
was  most  becomingly  gowned  in  white  China  silk,  and, 
standing  by  a  fountain  of  Parian  marble  surrounded  by 
a  bed  of  brilliant  roses — American  beauties,  bridesmaid, 
jacqueminots  and  other  varieties,  white,  yellow  and  gold, 
with  climbing  wild  roses,  damask  and  pink,  which 
twined  themselves  into  wreathes  around  a  beautiful 
arbor  near  by,  she  was  watching  the  arrival  of  the  im- 
mortal gods  and  their  guests.  The  gods  fell  madly  in 
love  with  her,  as  only  the  gods  can  love,  and  so  did  their 
guests,  and  vied  with  each  other  in  trying  to  win  her 
affection.  Prometheus  opened  a  studio,  and,  as  a  sample 
of  his  fine  art,  for  her  he  made  a  man  from  plastic  clay. 
She  said  for  inanimate  man  she  did  not  care ;  so  he  went 
back  to  Heaven,  and  in  the  absence  of  the  immortal  gods 
stole  some  sacred  fire,  and  with  it  he  brought  old  father 


LADY  EVE. 

Adam  to  life.  She  was  so  well  pleased  with  the  improve- 
ment that  soon  afterwards  there  was  a  wedding  in  Eden. 
She  married  the  statue.  Hermes  was  best  man,  and  the 
beautiful  Aphrodite  (who  rose  from  the  foam-crested 
waves  of  the  sea,  and  who  was  the  most  celebrated  blonde 
beauty  of  her  day)  was  bridesmaid. 

The  gods  were  very  jealous,  and  signified  their  dis- 
pleasure by  banishing  Prometheus  to  Hades  and  having 
the  vultures  there  feast  on  his  liver. 

This  hasty  wedding,  like  others,  proved  no  exception 
to  the  adage,  "  Marry  in  haste,  and  repent  at  leisure." 
They  did  not  live  happily.  Her  husband  found  more 
pleasure  in  the  society  of  the  golden-haired  Aphrodite, 
and  she,  in  a  fit  of  pique,  commenced  a  flirtation  with 
his  Satanic  Majesty  and  Cupid  that  had  an  unfortunate 
ending. 

One  evening  as  these  three  stars  in  the  drama — the 
Comedy,  the  Tragedy,  the  Farce,  whichever  we  make  out 
of  the  play  called  Life — went  out  for  a  walk  down  the 
finest  glade  in  Eden.  The  stars  looked  down  from  the 
azzure  skies  with  a  brilliancy  most  unusual  on  fields  of 
golden  red  and  white  flaming  poppies;  over  the  white 
breasts  of  river  lilies  that  were  trying  to  entice  the 
stray  moonbeams  from  the  world  of  shadows,  never 

.    6 


LADY  EVE. 

dreaming  these  visitors  would  in  a  short  time  cause 
Eden's  destruction.  Continuing  their  walk  through 
a  garden  of  magnificent  oleanders,  all  white  and  red, 
they  came  to  an  orchard  of  fine  fruit.  The  keeper  of 
the  garden  invited  them  in,  and  said: 

"  You  may  all  eat  of  the  fruit  of  the  trees  of  the  gar- 
den, but  of  the  fruit  of  the  tree  which  is  in  the  midst  of 
the  garden  ye  shall  not  eat,  neither  shall  you  touch  it, 
lest  you  die." 

His  Satanic  Majesty  said  to  Lady  Eve: 

"  That  is  untrue;  it  i«  t.h«  finest  fruit  in  the  garden, 
save  this  " — pointing  to  a  fine  tree  near  by,  which  the 
.keeper  of  the  garden  said  was  the  Tree  of  Life. 

The  fruit  resembled  a  golden  pear.  His  Satanic 
Majesty  said  to  Lady  Eve  that  what  the  keeper  said  was 
untrue — it  was  the  finest  fruit  in  the  garden,  and,  pluck- 
ing some  from  each  tree,  he  handed  it  to  her,  saying: 

"  Eat  thou  of  this,  the  fruit  of  the  Tree  of  Knowledge, 
and  you  shall  not  surely  die;  for  immortal  and  omnipo- 
tent Jove  knows  in  the  day  thou  eat  thereof  your  eyes 
shall  be  opened.  You  shall  be  as  gods,  knowing  good 
from  evil." 

She  said  to  him: 

"  If  you  think  the  fruit  is  wholesome,  and  a  fruit  to 
7 


LAD Y  EVE. 

be  desired,  you  eat  first;  and,  if  it  does  not  poison  you,  I 
will  eat  of  it,  too." 

And  he  accepted  from  her  a  fruit  which  resembled  a 
rich,  luscious,  sun-kissed  peach,  which  he  ate.  She,  per- 
ceiving it  was  pleasant  to  the  eyes  and  a  tree  to  be  de- 
sired to  make  one  wise,  also  took  of  the  fruit  thereof  and 
did  eat;  and,  having  finished  it,  she  said: 

"Are  you  sure  the  golden  pear  from  the  Tree  of  Life  is 
harmless,  and  will  confer  a  boon  possessed  alone  by  the 
immortal  gods — that  of  life  eternal!" 

He  said  he  was  convinced  that  not  only  would  it  make 
her  an  immortal,  possessed  of  eternal  life,  but  that  it 
would  also  confer  a  boon  she  would  value  as  only  a  fair 
woman  can — eternal  youth  and  beauty.  To  her  in  the 
sweet,  bye  and  bye  no  crowsf eet  nor  wrinkles  of  old  age 
wrould  ever  come  to  mar  her  lovely  beauty:  she  would 
forever  remain  young  and  beautiful.  She  said  for  him  to 
try  a  pear  first,  which  he  did ;  then  she  ate  one,  too. 

Cupid  and  the  keeper  stood  paralyzed  with  fear.  The 
audacity  of  the  culprits  amazed  them,  for  immortal 
Jove's  orders,  when  disobeyed,  always  were  followed  by 
punishment — swift,  terrible  and  sure.  As  soon  as  Cupid 
recovered  his  senses  he  took  his  Satanic  Majesty  to  task 
for  having  tempted  their  fair  companion  to  eat  forbidden 


LADY  EVE. 

fruit,  and  kicked  up  with  him  quite  a  fuss;  and,  in  a  fit 
of  ill  temper  gave  him  a  slap  in  the  face,  and  a  rough- 
and-tumble  fight  followed.  They  were  separated  ere  it 
had  progressed  far  by  mutual  friends,  but  Cupid  next 
day  sent  him  a  challenge  to  fight,  which  he  accepted,  and 
chose  the  prize  ring  and  a  fight  to  a  finish. 

The  time  for  the  fight  found  all  the  immortal  gods, 
goddesses  and  swell  sports  from  Providence  much  inter- 
ested, and  the  pavilion  around  the  twenty-four  foot  ring 
was  crowded  with  guests  from  floor  to  roof.  His  Satanic 
Majesty  ruled  a  strong  favorite.  As  he  was  so  much 
stronger  and  of  finer  physique  it  seemed  a  sure  thing — 
so  thought  the  fickle  goddess  of  chance,  Fortura,  who 
made  a  book  on  the  fight.  She  held  him  at  short  odds. 
Of  Cupid's  chances  she  thought  so  little  that  on  him  she 
gave  long  odds. 

Among  Lady  Eve's  most  ardent  admirers  was  the  rich 
old  miser  Midas.  She  borrowed  from  him  all  the  wealth 
the  old  fellow  would  lend,  and  wagered  so  much  gold  on 
Cupid  that  she  bet  the  goddess  Fortuna  to  a  standstill. 
In  the  excitement  old  Midas  accidentally  touched  him- 
self and  turned  to  gold,  and  she  bet  him,  too.  She  was  a 
plunger  second  to  none. 

At  the  appointed  hour  the  contestants  entered  the 


LADY  EVE. 

ring.  Cupid  wore  pale  blue  silk  trunks  and  a  golden 
girdle  around  his  slim  waist.  His  Satanic  Majesty  wore 
red  silk  trunks  and  a  black  pirate  flag  around  his  waist. 
Hermes  was  Cupid's  second.  Apollo  kindly  volun- 
teered to  act  as  second  to  his  Satanic  Majesty,  and  Mi- 
nerva, on  account  of  her  wisdom,  was  chosen  referee. 

The  gong  sounded,  the  fight  was  on,  when  fair  Venus, 
the  timekeeper,  called  time. 

Round  1 — They  stepped  to  the  middle  of  the  ring,  both 
sparring  for  an  opening.  Cupid  feinted,  and  drew  away 
as  his  Satanic  Majesty  made  a  strong  lead  for  his  chin 
with  his  powerful  left  duke.  Then  he  let  fly  his  right 
and  gave  his  Majesty  quite  a  severe  blow  over  the  left 
eye,  and,  rushing  him  towards  the  ropes,  he  followed 
with  another  which  landed  on  his  Satanic  Majesty's  nose, 
causing  the  red  claret  to  flow.  His  Satanic  Majesty, 
when  he  came  back  to  the  center  of  the  ring,  scored 
heavily  on  Cupid's  stomach  two  powerful  blows,  knock- 
ing him  down.  He  barely  missed  being  counted  out. 

Round  2 — Both  came  up  looking  like  they  had  been  to 
a  sure  enough  prize  fight.  Cupid  opened  up  with  a  hard 
left  on  the  mouth.  Then  his  Majesty  scored  a  heavy  blow 
over  Cupid's  solar  plexus,  which  was  followed  by  some 
heavy  blows  in  quick  succession  on  the  face.  The  crowd 


LADY  EVE. 

cheered  as  Cupid  was  rushed  to  the  ropes.  Cupid  recov- 
ered and  came  back  fighting  pretty  game,  and  got  in 
some  pretty  fine  work,  knocking  his  Majesty  down  twice 
with  well-directed  blows  in  the  pit  of  the  stomach.  The 
timekeeper  called  time  as  the  gong  sounded,  and  trainers 
and  seconds  were  busy  sponging  and  cooling  off  their 
men. 

Round  3 — This  was  a  savage  round  from  start  to  fin- 
ish. Cupid  rushed  the  fighting,  and  got  in  two  beautiful 
licks  in  quick  succession  under  the  jaw,  followed  by  a 
heavy  blow  in  the  mouth,  knocking  his  Majesty  down. 
He  arose  and  clinched  with  Cupid,  raining  blows  right 
and  left  for  Cupid's  face,  but  they  fell  a  little  short.  His 
Satanic  Majesty  then  feinted,  walked  backward  a  few 
steps,  made  a  powerful  rush  and  hit  Cupid  a  stunner  be- 
tween the  eyes,  following  his  advantage  by  a  few  heavy 
body  blows.  Cupid  countered  with  a  powerful  swing 
with  his  left  duke,  which  landed  hard  on  his  Majesty's 
jaw.  He  then  crowded  him,  raining  blows  fast  as 
thought,  giving  his  Majesty  heavy  licks  in  stomach  and 
over  heart,  seeming  to  be  able  to  land  when  and  where 
he  pleased.  Finally,  finding  his  Satanic  Majesty  power- 
less to  avert  his  heavy  blows,  Cupid  gave  him  a  left 
swing,  which  landed  behind  his  right  ear,  knocking  him 


LADY  EVE. 

down  and  out.  The  timekeeper  counted  out  the  seconds, 
and,  as  his  Satanic  Majesty  was  amusing  himself,  seeing 
countless  stars  in  slumberland,  he  failed  to  hear  or  heed. 
His  head  struck  the  hard  floor  in  falling,  producing  a 
partial  paralysis,  which  left  him  a  cripple  for  countless 
ages  to  come;  and  Cupid  was  declared  the  winner  of  the 
first  prize  fight  on  earth. 

Since  then  prize  fights  have  become  very  fashionable 
sport,  and  no  manlier  way  has  ever  been  found  for  set- 
tling disputes. 

After  the  fight  Cupid  was  given  a  swell  banquet,  and, 
being  Extra  Dry,  and  not  at  all  Mumm  about  expressing 
his  condition,  he  drank  more  White  Seal  than  was  good 
for  him — in  fact,  got  pretty  drunk,  and  after  the  ban- 
quet he  wandered  out  into  a  pretty  garden  of  red,  white 
and  gold  poppies  and  fell  asleep,  and  had  a  dream  that 
the  little  Ked  Mouse  of  the  Brocken,  which  was  his  old 
rival  and  foe,  in  disguise  climbed  out  of  the  petals  of  a 
great  big  white  poppy  and  hypnotized  him  with  his  cold, 
tiny  little  black  eyes,  throwing  him  into  a  trance,  and 
then  commenced  reading  his  dreams  to  the  gods.  He 
dreamed  all  the  flowers  in  Eden  changed  into  beautiful 
women,  most  exquisitely  gowned.  From  the  heart  of  an 
American  beauty  rose  stepped  a  magnificent  beauty, 


LADY  EVE. 

with  steel  gray  eyes,  dark  brown  tresses,  tinged  with  deep 
red  gold,  most  beautifully  gowned  in  a  light  gossamer 
clinging  gown,  which  revealed  while  it  concealed  a  form 
of  faultless  mould.  She  was  followed  by  a  girl  from  a 
hyacinth — a  daughter  of  the  gods,  divinely  fair,  divinely 
tall,  with  matchless  brown  eyes  and  a  roguish,  laughing 
smile.  She  was  most  becomingly  attired  in  a  dainty 
green  silk,  covered  with  rare  old  black  Spanish  lace, 
elbow  sleeves  and  slightly  decollete.  Another,  still  more 
beautiful,  sprang  from  a  water  lily;  a  beautiful  nymph — 
a  Nereid — she  seemed;  an  Undine — with  her  pretty  red- 
gold  hair  falling  over  a  snowy  pair  of  bared  shoulders. 
Her  eyes,  of  sapphire  blue,  sparkled  and  danced  in  a  most 
captivating  way,  and  her  pretty  Cupid's  bow  of  a  mouth 
displayed  a  pretty  smile,  from  lips  far  more  beautiful 
than  the  half-opened  buds  of  the  red  roses  on  a  dewy 
morning. 

Blondes,  brunettes,  stately  and  tall,  lithe,  willowy  and 
graceful — petite,  dainty  little  women — kept  springing 
from  the  flowers  until  a  hundred  seemed  him  to  sur- 
round. They  were  soon  followed  by  an  equal  number  of 
handsome, graceful  men;  so  that  he  fired  his  heart-shaped 
arrows  promiscuously  into  the  crowd,  and  weddings  fol- 
lowed galore;  that  woman  created  herself,  and  man,  too, 

13 


LADY  EVE. 

and  with  her  creation  the  gods  had  very  little  to  do.  All 
the  gods  were  soon  tired  of  earth  save  him;  he  found  it 
a  most  attractive  place,  and  spent  much  of  his  time  as  a 
model  for  sculptors  and  painters.  That  the  prettiest 
maiden  on  earth  was  Psyche,  and  he  married  her  in  his 
dream,  and  the  fair  little  bride  he  was  never  permitted 
to  see  save  when  the  moonlight  neglected  to  come  to  her 
home;  thatYenus  grew  jealous  and  made  pretty  Psyche  a 
great  deal  of  trouble.  He  dreamed  Eden  was  a  garden 
of  flame.  Omnipotent  Jove  was  greatly  displeased  with 
some  of  his  guests,  and  swore  never  again  on  earth  would 
he  give  a  lawn  or  house  party.  He  awoke  from  his  slum- 
ber, and,  standing  close  by,  was  immortal  and  omnipo- 
tent Jove  and  Lady  Eve  having  a  big  fuss.  He  was  tak- 
ing her  to  task  for  having  eaten  the  forbidden  fruit.  Her 
eyes  grew  black  with  passion  when  he  ordered  her  and 
her  husband  also  to  leave  the  garden,  and  as  a  punish- 
ment, for  all  time  to  come,  by  the  sweat  of  their  faces 
they  would  have  their  living  to  earn;  that  for  mortals 
bread  was  the  staff  of  life,  and  had  to  be  cultivated, 
necessitating  much  labor.  She  let  him  talk  for  a  while 
until  she  had  a  chance  to  get  a  word  in  edgeways,  then 
she  held  the  floor  until  she  had  her  say.  She  told  him 
of  his  unreasoning  hospitality,  of  his  selfishness  in  re- 
14 


LADY  EVE. 

serving  the  fruits  from  the  Tree  of  Knowledge  of  Good 
and  Evil,  also  the  fruit  from  the  Tree  of  Life;  of  what 
the  keeper  of  the  garden  said  in  order  to  prevent  them 
from  eating  it — if  they  touched  it  they  would  surely  die 
— and  said : 

"  Since  then  several  days  have  gone  by,  and  I,  for  a 
corpse,  am  feeling  pretty  gay.  Really,  to  be  frank,  don't 
you  think  the  keeper  of  your  garden  is  a  most  accom- 
plished liar?  I  certainly  do.  Eden  I  have  no  intention 
of  leaving.  You  can  storm,  bluster  and  threaten  and  try 
to  put  me  out  if  you  dare,  but  if  you  do  I  am  going  to 
make  a  great  deal  of  trouble  for  you;  for,  as  sure  as  you 
meddle  with  me  or  my  pleasure,  I  mean  to  go  and  tell 
haughty  Juno,  the  proud  Empress  of  your  couch,  of  your 
mad  infatuation  for  fair,  frail  Leda;  of  your  nightly 
visits,  swimming  down  Rainbow  Lake  to  her  fairy  villa 
on  the  edge,  in  the  disguise  of  her  pet  snow  white  swan; 
and  when  Juno  learns  of  your  pretty  mistress  she  will  not 
worry  you  with  the  divorce  court.  She  will  settle  the 
case  in  her  own  jealous  way.  And  if  you  don't  need  a 
firmer  and  more  durable  foundation  to  hold  up  your  pal- 
ace of  spangled  stars,  then,  mon  ami,  I  am  talking  moon- 
shine to  you. 

"  Besides,  instead  of  my  leaving  Eden,  Eden  is  going 
15 


LADY  EVE. 

to  say  adios  to  itself  and  all  its  guests,  including  you. 
His  Satanic  Majesty  has  the  garden  all  mined  with  dyna- 
mite, gunpowder,  cordite  and  gun-cotton.  He  has  pre- 
pared a  pretty  lively  serenade  for  you.  You  had  better 
look  to  your  lifeboat ;  you  are  liable  to  have  rough  sailing, 
ere  with  Eden  you  get  through.  Down  in  the  meadows 
all  carpeted  with  bright  blue  grass,  many  regiments  of 
little  red  devils  are  waiting  to  give  battle  to  you.  His 
Satanic  Majesty  and  his  official  family  have  declared  war 
on  you." 

Omnipotent  and  all-powerful  Jove  was  caught  nap- 
ping, but  in  a  short  time  soon  had  plenty  of  warrior 
angels  in  battle  array.  Charge  on  charge  by  legion  after 
legion  of  little  red  devils  were  met  by  pretty  angels,  all 
armed  with  pretty  gold  crosses.  Thunderbolt  after  thun- 
derbolt (omnipotent  Jove's  favorite  weapon)  swept  regi- 
ment after  regiment  of  little  red  devils  from  the  earth 
like  snowballs  melting  in  a  warm  corner  in  Hades.  His 
Satanic  Majesty  finally  exploded  his  mine — giving  many 
a  dear  little  woman  angel  a  quick  ride  to  glory — but  was 
defeated  and  sent  back  to  Hades  in  disgrace.  A  few  fall- 
ing angels,  including  proud  Lucifer,  kept  him  company. 
Of  Eden  there  remained  not  a  trace  save  two  lava- 
covered  mountains,  from  the  west  mountain  a  river  of 
16 


LADY  EVE. 

water  rushing  down  its  lava-covered  sides,  hotter  than 
the  hinges  of  Hades.  Where  last  night  the  immortal 
gods  and  their  guests  were  feasting  and  enjoying  the 
good  and  evil  pleasures  of  life,  to-night  the  moon,  proud 
queen  of  the  night,  as  she  soared  higher  and  higher  in  the 
starry  heavens,  looked  down  on  an  unfamiliar  scene  and 
grew  pallid  with  f  ear.^ 

Old  Neptune,  in  his  chariot,  took  Lady  Eve  and  her 
husband  across  the  briny  deep  and  left  them  in  a  beauti- 
ful Oriental  land,  far  from  Eden.  To  them  came  Tanta- 
lus with  the  secrets  he  had  stolen  from  the  gods,  also 
flower  seed  from  Flora  and  fruits  and  cereals  from  Ceres, 
saying  they  could  till  the  soil  and  have  as  happy  a  home 
and  as  beautiful  flowers  as  ever  bloomed  in  Eden;  that 
Marie  Corelli  said  the  world  was  merely  at  best  a  hotel 
for  mortals  on  their  journey  through  life,  until  the  soul 
left  its  frail  tenement  of  clay  to  be  judged  and  assigned 
a  future  and  more  permanent  residence,  either  in  the 
celestial  regions  beyond  the  skies  or  in  Hades;  that  at 
birth  two  microbes,  one  evil  the  other  good,  constituted 
a  dominant  part  of  that  unknown  entity  we  designate  by 
the  name  of  the  soul.  As  every  mortal  went  down  life's 
highway  from  the  cradle  to  the  grave  the  future  fate  of 
his  soul  was  in  his  own  hands;  if  he  nourished  it  with 
17 


LADY  EVE. 

good  deeds  and  kind  actions,  and  obeyed  the  religious 
teachings  of  the  divines,  after  life's  fitful  dream  was* 
over  it  would  become  an  angel-star,  to  shine  again  on  a 
brighter  shore  in  realms  Elysian.  If  evil  deeds  got  the 
best  of  this  soul,  and  life  was  evil,  in  the  end  when  life's 
tempestuous  voyage  on  earth  was  ended,  old  Charon 
would  row  it  across  the  mythical  river  Styx  to  Hades  to 
suffer  eternal  punishment. 

He  also  said  the  earth  and  the  fullness  thereof  was  for 
man's  benefit  and  amusement.  He  had  dominion  over 
the  birds  of  the  air,  the  beasts  of  the  field,  the  fish  in 
the  sea,  every  living,  breathing  thing,  and  every  plant 
or  vegetable.  While  living  he  could  use  what  he  liked 
to  nourish  and  amuse  himself,  but  when  dead  and  turned 
to  dust  the  plants  would  eat  him.  The  living  nourished 
the  dead,  and  the  dead  the  living.  Xature,  in  her  won- 
derful chemical  factory,  was  always  changing  matter  into 
life  and  life  into  matter.  How  many  other  true  secrets 
he  might  have  divulged  will  never  be  known,  for  immor- 
tal Jove's  three  best  detectives  arrested  him  and  impri— 
oned  him  in  Hades.  They  tied  him  in  the  hottest  place 
to  a  stone  in  water — cold,  nice,  delicious  ice-water,  just 
touching  his  parched  lips  and  tongue,  with  never  a  drop 
to  drink. 

18 


LADY  EVE, 

Prometheus'  masterpiece  of  sculpture  lived  happy 
with  Lady  Eve  many  years,  and  became  an  expert  tiller 
of  the  soil.  To  them  were  born  many  brave  sons  and 
fair  daughters.  Old  age  gradually  stole  into  his  veins, 
making  him  an  aged,  decrepit,  cross  and  childish  old 
man.  He  had  a  visitor  one  day,  Thanatos,  who  gently 
closed  his  eyes  forever  in  a  dreamless  sleep  that  knows 
no  awakening,  and  the  celestial  fire  which  composed  his 
soul  winged  its  flight  upward  to  celestial  regions  to  be- 
come an  angel  and  dwell  forever  in  the  realms  of  the 
blessed. 
##-*#-fc**## 

All  alone  in  his  council  hall  of  state,  seated  on  his 
crimson  throne,  yet  surrounded  by  all  his  official  family, 
sat  his  Satanic  Majesty,  dreaming  of  the  gay  house  party 
in  Eden;  of  his  lost  sweetheart,  Lady  Eve;  of  his  mag- 
nificent Kingdom  of  Evil ;  of  its  fine  mosaic-paved  streets 
made  from  the  bricks  of  good  intentions  and  bad  deeds; 
of  his  fast-increasing  wealth,  since  he  and  the  Sun  had 
entered  into  a  partnership  and  raised  the  price  of  heat, 
this  most  essential  of  all  things — useful  to  mortals  on 
earth  as  well  as  the  celestial  lands,  and  his  own  King- 
dom of  Evil. 

His   dreams   were   interrupted  by  the  entrance  of  a 
19 


LADY  EVE. 

footman  dressed  in  a  livery  of  crimson  red  fire,  bearing 
on  a  gold  salver  a  card  with  his  Majesty's  friend  Hermes' 
name  engraved  thereon.  After  delivering  some  letters 
of  official  business  from  immortal  Jove,  concerning  an 
exchange  of  a  few  souls  that  he  thought  would  make 
useful  angels,  they  fell  to  talking  about  old  times.  He 
told  Herrnes  of  his  paralyzed  and  helpless  condition,  and 
of  his  love  for  his  lost  Lady  Eve.  To  him  Hermes  said : 
"  On  my  way  here  I  spent  several  pleasant  weeks  at  a 
famous  spa,  famous  all  the  wrorld  over,  and  known  as  the 
Hot  Springs  of  Arkansas.  From  the  lay  of  the  moun- 
tains and  the  pretty  valley  I  am  sure  the  c:*j  is  built 
over  the  ruins  of  old  Eden,  and  it  is  a  much  prettier 
place.  While  there  I  saw  some  magical  cures  performed. 
I  believe  if  you  would  go  and  take  the  baths  that  in  three 
weeks  you  would  grow  young  again.  The  season  now  is 
at  its  height,  and  I  am  going  to  spend  several  more  weeks 
there.  If  you  will  be  my  guest,  I'll  guarantee  you  a  cure 
of  your  paralysis  and  your  heartache,  too.  There  are 
many  pretty  feminine  pebbles  found  promenading 
down  the  magnolia  shaded  avenue  known  as  Bath  House 
Row;  many  a  dainty  beauty  to  be  seen  tripping  the  light 
fantastic  to  the  music  at  the  grand  hotels,  and  the  cuisine 
is  exceptionally  fine.  Knights  of  the  green  cloth  woo  the 


LADY  EVE. 

fickle  goddess  of  fortune  nightly  at  the  famous  Arkansas 
and  Southern  clubs.  The  limit  at  faro  is  from  the  roof 
to  the  sky,  and  more  money  is  won  on  the  turn  of  a  card 
at  the  Turf  Exchange  than  man  can  earn  all  the  days  of 
his  life  by  the  sweat  of  his  brow.  Close  confinement  and 
hard  work  has  made  you  melancholy.  A  change  will  do 
you  a  world  of  good.  If  you  will  go  and  take  a  hot  bath 
at  one  of  the  fine  marble  bath  houses,  following  it  with  a 
cold  needle  bath,  and  have  a  big  negro  rubber  rub  you 
down  well,  wrap  you  in  a  linen  sheet,  then  put  on  a  fine 
bath  robe,  lay  down  for  an  hour  on  a  couch,  order  and 
drink  a  Zumo  Anana  cocktail  mixed  with  a  Kentucky 
mint  julep,  toned  down  with  plenty  of  cracked  ice,  you 
will  fall  asleep  and  dream  you  have  met,  loved  and  won 
fair  Lady  Eve." 

His  Satanic  Majesty  replied  that,  from  the  way  his 
guest  talked,  he  thought  he  was  a  drummer  for  Hot 
Springs,  to  which  he  replied  that  he  was. 

His  Satanic  Majesty,  yielding  to  his  old  friend's  ad- 
vice, went,  then  little  believing  he  would  find  on  earth 
such  a  gay,  beautiful  and  so  fascinating  a  city.  A  three- 
weeks'  course  of  baths  cured  him.  One  night  an  annual 
ball  was  given  at  a  big  hotel  called  the  Monarch  of  the 
Glen.  The  large  dining-room  was  turned  into  a  beauti- 


LADY  EVE. 

f  ul  miniature  lawn.  There  were  fairy  grottoes,  feathery 
palms  and  lots  of  pretty  climbing  vines;  also  dainty,  cool 
little  arbors  lit  up  with  tiny  fairy  electric  lamps,  which 
sparkled  like  myriad  fireflys  in  a  tropical  garden. 
Many  invitations  to  famous  beauties  all  over  the  world 
had  been  sent  out  for  this  grand  ball.  Every  city  of  note 
had  sent  its  fairest  beauty,  and  such  a  gathering  at  this 
famous  spa  had  never  before  been  seen. 

Among  them  was  a  seemingly  beautiful  girl  dressed  in 
a  filmy  gown  of  China  silk  of  pale  blue  and  white  stripes. 
Her  beautiful  limbs,  rounded  and  smooth  as  a  pearl, 
could  be  plainly  seen  through  the  gauzy  drapery  that 
clung  like  white  mist  about  the  exquisite  curves  of  her 
fairy  form,  and  floated  behind  her  in  shining  folds  of 
shimmering  sheen.  Her  exquisite  neck  and  arms  were 
bare,  and  from  tiny  hand,  dainty  wrist,  to  snowy  shoul- 
der, such  velvet  softness  and  beauty  of  feminine  flesh 
never  before  was  seen  save  in  poets'  dreams.  She  was 
waltzing  with  Hermes,  and  after  the  dance  he  asked  per- 
mission to  introduce  his  friend,  his  Satanic  Majesty.  An 
introduction  was  followed  by  a  waltz,  after  which  a  shady 
nook  was  sought  while  waiting  for  an  ice.  His  Majesty 
tried  to  think  where  had  he  seen  this  wonderful  beauty 
before.  A  look  at  her  glorious  brown  eyes  and  masses 


LADY  EVE. 

of  golden  blonde  hair,  most  becomingly  braided  and 
caught  up  in  a  red  silk  net,  reminded  him  of  his  lost 
love — Lady  Eve — and  he  soon  found  it  was  her.  So  he 
immediately  began  his  story  of  love  for  her,  which  had 
commenced  in  old  Eden  in  the  long  ago.  He  expressed  it 
in  a  dignified  way  and  spoke  very  few  words.  She  an- 
swered him  neither  yes  or  no,  but,  looking  out  beyond 
the  fairy  grotto  into  the  brilliant  starlit  heavens  above, 
she  asked  him  if  it  was  true  that  the  stars  were  merely 
campfires  kindled  by  lost  souls  when  camping  out  on  the 
journey  to  purgatoiy  to  await  the  Pope's  and  priests' 
pleasure  ere  they  were  prayed  into  Heaven  or  banished  to 
Hades.  He  said  he  never  allowed  his  mind  to  wander 
and  think  of  silvery  stars  when  such  beautiful  stars  as 
her  matchless  brown  eyes  were  so  near  by.  Gazing  into 
those  amorous  orbs  he  noticed  for  the  first  time  a  fiery 
red  pigeon-blood  ruby  cross  suspended  from  a  small  gold 
chain  around  her  swan-like  throat.  For  once  in  his  life  a 
cross  for  him  had  no  terror,  so  infatuated  was  he  with 
his  partner  in  sin  in  old  Eden  in  the  childhood  days  of 
the  world.  She  said : 

"  Do  you  know,  you  have  asked  for  the  costliest  thing 
on  earth — a  woman's  heart?  Asked  for  it  like  a  child 
would  for  a  toy!" 

23 


LADY  EVE. 

"  Well,"  he  replied,  "  if  I  have,  if  you  will  give  it  to 
me  I'll  value  it  far  more  than  my  kingdom  or  life,  for 
I've  loved  no  one  so  long,  so  true,  as  I  love  you." 

She  said : 

"  The  wine,  the  music,  the  mazy  whirl  of  the  dance 
to-night  have  called  up  old  memories.  Should  you  see  me 
in  broad  daylight  you  might  not  have  so  much  love  for 
your  old  sweetheart,  for  I've  grown  old  and  ugly,  and 
sometimes  get  pretty  cross.  When  choosing  a  wife  you 
should  always  propose  in  broad  daylight.  I  will  meet 
you  to-morrow  at.  10  o'clock  up  Happy  Hollow  under 
the  pretty  dogwood  tree  covered  with  snowy  white  blos- 
soms. 

It  seemed  a  long  time  to  wait,  but  the  time  eventually 
arrived.  So  did  he,  and  soon  afterwards  came  the  fair 
Lady  Eve. 

They  talked  of  the  beauties  of  Hot  Springs,  and  pitied 
those  who  had  never  visited  this  beautiful  spa ;  of  its  won- 
derful cures;  of  the  magical  effect  on  old  age,  and  how 
quick  it  cooked  the  microbes  of  disease;  of  its  fine  thor- 
oughbred horses,  its  mountain  roads,  golf  links,  and 
pretty  little  lakes ;  its  magnolia  avenues ;  of  the  delicious 
fragrance  of  the  snowy  white  magnolias,  enhanced  by 

24 


LADY  EVE. 

that  delicious  piney  odor  wafted  from  the  mountains;  of 
the  laughing  sunbeams;  of  the  beautiful  dreams  and  rosy 
air-castles  that  the  disease  stricken  invalid  had  when  he 
found  his  hopeless  condition,  which  had  baffled  all  the 
wisest  M.  D.'s  all  over  the  world,  when  after  a  few  weeks 
here  they,  like  he,  had  been  entirely  restored  to  health ; 
of  how  much  brighter  the  moon  shone  here ;  of  its  pretty 
cloud  effects ;  of  an  interesting  and  unique  weekly  maga- 
zine known  (and  read  all  over  the  world)  by  name  of 
u  The  Ark.  Thomas  Cat;"  of  the  many  loves  and  lovers 
who  met  here,  and  how  many  marriages  occurred  here 
each  year.  Then  he  grew  impatient,  and  asked  her  in 
pretty  plain  English  if  she  would  make  him  forever 
happy  by  becoming  his  wife.  She  said : 

"  You  say  you  have  loved  none  save  me.  How  about 
Persephone,  Ceres'  daughter?  You  stole  her  without  so 
much  as  asking  her  or  her  mother." 

"  Yes,"  replied  his  Majesty.  "  When  Easter  time  ar- 
rived her  mother  said  last  year's  bonnet  was  plenty  good, 
and  she  felt  so  disgusted  with  earth  when  she  could  not 
keep  up  with  the  styles  for  a  dozen  new  bonnets,  that  she 
gladly  consented  to  run  away  from  Ceres  and  keep  house 
for  me.  She  knew  nothing  about  the  culinary  art,  and 


LADY  EVE. 

so  I  got  rid  of  her  pretty  soon  by  sending  her  home." 
"  Next  you  stole  fair  Leto,  did  you  not?" 
"  That's  true.    She  was  a  cry  baby,  and  had  never  be- 
fore been  away  from  home.    She  came  near  bankrupting 
my  kingdom  by  quenching  the  fires  of  Hades  with  her 
tears.    You  bet,  I  was  glad  to  see  her  go  home." 
"  Next  you  stole  fair  Eurydice,  did  you  not?" 
"  Yes;  the  most  beautiful  Nereid  nymph,  the  prettiest 
Circe  I  ever  met.      She  is  not  so  beautiful   as  you, 
although  she  is  the  fairest  goddess  that  ever  roamed 
among  the  Olympian  hills  or  attended  a  court  ball  in 
omnipotent  Jove's  palace  of  spangled  stars.     Orpheus 
was  a  crank,  daft  on  music.     He  drove  her  distracted 
playing  an  old  jewsharp;  and,  to  get  away  from  him,  she 
ran  away  with  me,  but  the  gods  kicked  up  such  a  muss 
I  did  not  have  the  pleasure  of  keeping  her  long.    So,  you 
see,  I  am  off  with  all  the  old  loves  save  you,  my  first 
love." 

"  Surely,  in  a  sane  moment,  to  such  an  evil  old  king- 
dom as  Hades  you  would  not  care  to  take  me!"  cried 
Lady  Eve.  My,  what  a  horrible  place  the  preachers  and 
Dante  have  made  it  out  to  be!" 

"  With  the  preachers  it  is  a  matter  of  business — a 
26 


LADY   EVE. 

question  of  meat  and  bread,"  explained  his  Satanic 
Majesty.  "  As  to  Dante's  '  Inferno/  he  was  a  dissipated 
young  poet,  whose  poems  no  publisher  cared  to  buy.  He 
fell  madly  in  love  with  a  beautiful  Italian  girl,  with  soft 
brown  eyes,  named  Beatrice,  and,  having  no  money,  her 
father  refused  to  allow  them  to  wed.  So  he  drank  so 
much  absinthe  he  had  what  the  doctors  call  delirium  tre- 
mens,  and  uneducated  folks  call  snakes  in  his  boots.  He 
had  a  terrible  dream  of  my  kingdom,  and  when  he  awoke 
sober  he  wrote  it  up.  It  made  a  hit  with  the  dear  public, 
and  later  on  was  magnificently  illustrated  by  a  celebrated 
French  painter  named  Gustave  Dore.  When  the  dear 
public  saw  so  many  beautiful  women  dressed  in  robes  de 
nuit,  or  rather  minus  them,  flying  to  my  kingdom  it 
proved  for  me  a  great  advertisement.  For  it  I  paid 
neither  the  publishers  nor  the  poet  a  cent.  For  man, 
sensual  man  alone  for  woman  cares,  either  as  a  wife  or  a 
mistress — and,  if  what  the  good  book  says  is  true,  among 
the  angel  band  waiting  on  the  other  shore,  there  is  no 
promise  to  man  that  he  will  ever  there  find  a  wife." 

Then  said  Lady  Eve: 

"  If  you  will  turn  your  kingdom  into  a  grand  hospital 
and  make  of  it  a  sanitarium  for  the  cure  of  diseased  souls, 


273756 


LADY  EVE. 

I  will  gladly  be  your  wife,  for  surely  sin  is  a  disease, — a 
result  of  an  insane  mind." 

He  gladly  consented.  So  this  is  how  Hades  as  a  King- 
dom of  Evil  has  ceased  to  exist,  and  the  words  of  an  emi- 
nent divine  that  "  Hades  had  played  out  "  came  true. 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  AT  LOS  ANGELES 

THE  UNIVERSITY  LIBRARY 
This  book  is  DUE  on  the  last  date  stamped  below 


^ 

WKAUMiljK 

f 


Form  L-9-i5rw-2,'S 


AT 
LOS  ANGELES 


PS 

1105  Blaydes  - 
B614  1  Lady  Eve. 


PS 

1105 
B614  1 


L  006  634  360  9 


